17 January 2011

TwoCrows

They seem to be everywhere, as if they followed me across the water. They call and respond, regardless of where I am -- in the city or out. But that's okay. I like hearing them. Reminds me of who I am.
We are now about six days into our journey and it feels like so much longer. I don't do well in forced claustrophobia. Not spaces, but people. So many . . . I am getting the hang of it, though. 
YES, I DID!

I got to people-watch at the Palace at Mysore yesterday. A three-hour ride to see such opulence, whilst outside, the poor beg and the palace vendors chase anything that looks like it may have money to buy a trinket or two. Doesn't make me sad, so much as having a righteous indignation for the choices they make that affect their children. It was an interesting ride, however.
Mysore Palace Entrance Crush

Mysore Palace, at the East Gate

The large window into small spaces I saw the other day gave me new insight into what it means to live in a totally 'we' way, rather than that surface 'we'. On the surface, it is easy to say 'we' this or 'we' that. But until you have shared your space with 300,000 other individual bodies, each vying for a tiny opening to join family from whom one has become separated by fifty other people, 'we' is only a convenient word to use in order to not seem selfish or self-centered. The crush of bodies, pushing and shoving -- but none angry or offended at the absence of personal space. Yet, how can one miss what one has never known? I miss my personal space, privacy of  thought and word, because it is all I have ever known myself to want, all I have created for myself in my 'real world' of home and family.

India Sacred Text, United Theological College Library Archive
Two nights ago, I began listing the things for which I am thankful. Personal space. My lover. No roommate (although my roommate is the craziest and most delightful person in the world!). Cold water. Soft bed. These are all things which I know that I sometimes take for granted -- more often, in fact, than I'd like to admit. Still, India has much to teach me, and I'm glad for the learning. 
Buddhist Temple, Bangalore
I think that as long as I know that I have love waiting for me at home and my Crows calling and cawing all around me while I am here, I'll be okay.